Imma Bad Boy! ....Mike Lowreys Blog

You know how I do...I Double UP!!!

Brand New Site……Same Ol’ Mike Lowrey!!!

I decided it was time to step up my pimp game to the next level and did a little redesign on the site
Let me know if you like this design better than the previous site.

Keep in mind the site is still a work in progress and things will change a little more.

I’ve added a few new items:

• Additional HTML support for comments
• New MS Vista like Navigation Bar
• Stat tracking
• Fewer Categories and more Tagging
• File Downloading
• Tag Cloud
• You can now see “Who else is online?”
• Next post to publish countown
• Music Player
• Gravatar support
• New Comments View

Much more to come as I further develop the new site.
Things are still just starting out so features may not all work, so shoot me an email if something doesn’t work properly and I’ll take a look.

Please remember to register again for email alerts and Avatar control.

Ladies:
Some folks say that having sex burns about the same amount of calories as mowing the lawn.

Ha…Ha.
That very well can be, if you’re fuggin with an average guy who is doing it all wrong.
But, um…

Having sex with Mike Lowrey burns about the same amount
of calories as completing the NYC Marathon!

Ladies are you ready to get on the Mike Lowrey fitness plan?

Warning:

The Mike Lowrey fitness plan WILL cause the following side effects:

• smiling
• calling out for the lawd uncontrollably
• leg trembles
• sweating out of your perm
• smoke a Newport
• fall asleep right after you finish your Newport
• next day, have a naughty grin the entire day while at work

The Mike Lowrey Alert on the beds of NYC Ladies
has officially been raised from “Elevated” to “High Alert”.

Get ready.

Do not forget to check your Mike Lowrey Alert daily.
Carry the alert info card below in your purse at all times
so you know how to respond to the changing alerts.

My ATL dude Luda had a video shoot and had the hottest looking female rappers in the biz join him.
I’m not sure you understand how insane that is?
Fugg all this computer shyt I do…I wanna rap and act now.
If that means I get to tear all up on chicks that look like this….I’m in!

Peep the pics:

Here’s DJ Khaled and that chick with the juicy hips….Trina.

Folks I know this chick probably has the IQ of an orange.
But look at Nicki Minaj below. I’m sorry. I’d jump all types of brooms
and marry to some ass like that. Seriously…Can you blame me?

Yes, I know her stooopid as fugg facial expressions will eventually
drive me insane and I’d have to kill myself.
But I know it would be the best month of my life with this chick before I commit suicide.
Yeah…I’d last about 30 days.

Let me get up on some Nicki…I tell ya.
I’d be getting at it with this girl so bad that I’d be the new spokesman for gatorade.

Diamond looks hot in the pic above with the stockings on and her
hair done and shyt, but she’s far from a hot girl.

And why is Eve tryna come back to music after her TVshow and clothing line crashed and burned?
And why is she trying her best to look like Nicki Minaj these days?
A Lacefront wig and cherry lips…that’s Nicki all the way.
Someone please tell eve to get her old ass out of the rap game please.

Hang it up Eve.

I believe that anyone should be able to run for president.
I know that some of those people who run won’t be qualified.
But why would people support someone who obviously isn’t qualified?

Anyone who believes in this chick should just go kill themselves now.
Not after you read this post…like right now at this moment.
Go ‘head…I’ll wait.

{waiting…}
{waiting…..}
{waiting……..}

Aight now that those folks are dead I can continue.
I’m amazed at the level of Ignant this country has sometimes.

A woman who hasn’t said 1 word other than talking points, no policy statements.
A woman who when asked what newspaper she reads got stuck like a deer in some headlights.

A woman who took her Political committee money that was raised and purchased her own book
so that her sales numbers would look better and allowed her to transfer her political money to personal money.

A woman who makes fun of the president for using a teleprompter…
has to write mufuggin notes on her hand to deliver a speech that she got paid $100,000 for.
I’m just saying if you give me 25k for a speech I promise you, I’ll turn all types of baptist minister on the shyt.
You’d think I was MLK Jr on the shyt folks, I’m just being real. I won’t need to write down notes.

I’m sorry if you disagree with me but I believe that my president shouldn’t need to
write shyt down on his/her hand like a mufuggin 3rd grader on a spelling test!!!

What makes this shyt bad is that she should have been able to remember the shyt she wrote down.
Why take the time to write energy, tax, (budget then cross it out,
guess she didn’t want to talk about that anymore) & then lift American spirits.

Who the fugg can’t remember tax, energy and lift spirits; for $100,000 I can remember those shyts and more.

Not only did she have to use her hand but she also had a fuggin cross out on the shyt.
Folks if you gotta write shyt down on your hand…please take a minute and verify
exactly what you intend to write so you don’t need to made fuggin edits.

The bytch isn’t even embarrassed to look down at her hand during a fuggin interview!

Can we be real folks? Isn’t the one and only fact that she’s not the typical ugly
republican chick that folks are even talking about her and supporting her?

There’s nothing attractive about her to me. 
But I know middle American dudes are all stroking themselves over her.
And middle American women all wish they had her looks.
I’m really not sure why.

If you want to be a Palin fan that’s cool, but please be real about it.
I wouldn’t allow the heffa to handle scissors, let alone run this country.
Palin fans that want her to run for President should really seen out some mental help.

Does anyone know of any brothers who support this chick other than Mike Steele?
Yeah, I’m sure it will take a while to think about that one.

Listen Negroes…I’ll be damned if I see another one of you making a fool of my
damn race on You Think You’re Smarter Than A 5th Grader.

I’m so mad at this my eyes are a dark shade of red. I can’t even comment on this shyt.

The big ass heffa is making my race look Ignant Squared.
I swear I wish I had a spear to chuck at this heffa.
Straight Shaka Zulu style on a bytch.

I’m not sure the lawd is hearing my prayers cause he’s not
striking down these Ignant folks fast enough.

shyt…just peep this vid:

I’m just saying…who doesn’t know the answer to that damn question?

I know my IQ is a bit higher than average, always has been. I’ve been tested a few times.
But even if my IQ was that of Jell-O I should still be able to get that question right.
Even if my brain was replaced by a brick, I should still be able to answer that shyt!

Fugg you big heffa for looking like the pine sol lady & for disgracing my damn race.

Ever since my boy Thickcrust got his new job he’s been trying look more
appealing to his girlfriend. So he’s been running around wearing some
mufuggin girdle/spanx shyt instead of getting off his fat ass and hitting the gym.

Side Note: Dude, while you’re out in Hawaii please sit your pale ass in some sun.
You better come back looking like George Hamilton!

When you call that 800 number for tech support do you ever wonder who it is you’re talking to?
Well Mike Lowrey is has the answer to that question.

You speak to this woman and her friends:

This new spa just opened up on the upper west side of Manhattan, I think I’ll give it a try:

Basically because at any given moment they can be chillin like a mufugger one minute,
and then bust out in a Casper like crazy as shyt rant the next.

At first glance I would swear this dude was Thickcrust.

In a change from her usual manly appearance Tennis star
Serena Williams is set to be all sexy up in Vibe!

Take a peep:

(Lawd…who in the Hell left the gate open)

Damn ‘Rena….I’d have to drizzle all up on dat.

Um….Have you seen Jamie Foxx’s daughter lately?
And before you fellas start having all types of nasty ass thoughts like I did when
I initially saw this pic, I gotta let you know she’s only 15!!!

I thought she was 19 from the pic but looked up her age to confirm.
So fellas, keep it clean with the thoughts.

Here’s a lil something the ladies:

Trey Songs will be featured in Jet:
(I’m just sayin’…why does he have that Austin Powers Dr. Evil pose?)

Is it just me or does Al Reynold now look really straight when he’s next to
an actual woman and not that gastric bypass denying Star Jones beast?

Peep it and tell me what you think?

Did anyone catch Beyonce at Macy’s in herald Square yesterday?

I’m getting really tired of seeing her running around promoting that Heat bullshyt.
I’m tired of seeing her promoting shyt,
I’ll never be tired of looking at a hot ass chick in stilettos!

I can look at that shyt all day.

Lastly….
What’s up with B Rocka (Brandy) trying to look hot all of a sudden now that
she’s been rumored to be getting it in with Rapper Flo’ Rida.

Ain’t that just like a chick…dress it up all hot to snag a brother but then a month
from now she’ll get all comfortable and be back to looking her normal daily busted.

NYC Ladies: What the fugg is about to go down in NYC?

I’m not sure what the deal is but I saw a report on CNN that factories have been alerted
to ship ten thousand additional condoms to NYC with the logo seen above on each packet!

NYC Ladies, something big seems to be coming your way.

Happy Birthday Renee!

Birthday Cupcake?

February is Black History Month, celebrate dammit!

I’m mad as hell that I don’t have any friends that are into Lost like I am.
Everyone I talk to says yeah, I watched it but then I missed a few shows and then stopped watching.

Fuggin Posers!

I can say that I’ve watched every episode of the entire 5 seasons of Lost.
OK, I’ll be Honest, I’m a Poser too.
I didn’t even know what Lost was until 6 months ago.
In my defense I thought the show had too much hype, so I never watched it for the 5 years it was on TV.

But when I realized my mistake I rented every single episode.
So now as season 6 kicks off for the final season, I am a huge fan of the show.

I haven’t seen the episodes from last night yet so don’t say nuthin’!
I may wait till tomorrow and order a few pizzas and watch it.
(I’ve been wanting to try the new domino’s pizza for a minute)

How big of a Lost fan am I?
I got the Lost Lego’s!

I’m just saying…why did damn Hurley figure have to come with a George Foreman Grill?
{* blank stare *}

It has been confirmed that the 4th Bourne movie will be
a prequel and that Matt Damon will not be in it.

WTF Universal Studios?

Matt Damon was quoted as saying,
“I don’t know you know. I think it will be a prequel of some kind with another actor
and another director before we do another one. I think we are probably five years
away from another one. We gotta get a script. If you have any ideas please call Universal.”

Fugg a Prequel.
Shyt, Fugg Alvin and his Squeakuels!

We want Matt Damon back as Jason Bourne!
Leave it to Hollywood to fugg up a good thing.
Damn.